Nicola Chatham
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2009 - With or With Drought You

Showing at Redland Art Gallery, Cnr Middle and Bloomfield Streets, Cleveland from Sunday 21 June - Sunday 2 August 2009.

I know it’s a long journey – learning how to communicate. It’s something we’ll be practicing until the day we die. I’m scared of loosing the intimacy we’ve sometimes experienced. Now I have no skerrick of hope left to believe maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t him who threatened me and then denied it. She burst into tears when I got there and strangely, that made me relax. I can smell some lovely pine trees or another earthy smell wafting through my window. The wind’s blowing the hair around my face – little strands that are loose from my ponytail are tickling my skin. Perhaps he does love me. We filled two buckets with rainwater and used one to wash the side of the van. That was satisfying. It was a good night. Nic carried the conversation and Ian showed us his beautiful photographs. Deep in my soul I knew it was where I had lived and grown up. I could have paid someone for their time but I like being in control and able to see each stage as it develops. The chooks have laid and I’m making banana bread with our first egg. It had two yolks! He’s dancing to some beautiful ambient music in front of me with the sliding doors open wide, looking out over the sea. We went for a paddle. It was very windy & blustery, but fun! I loved the sounds of the birds and the smell of the creek. Our red wine tastes like it’s gone off and the fridge has run out of gas – but we are relaxed for the first time in what seems like ages. I have to find what I’m looking for, within myself. Next week I plan to go to the library. A goanna is circling around the picnic table and me. She’s similar to my other friend with her matter-of-fact, caring temperament. After I pulled myself together I went and lay beside him and put my arm across his back. I needed him to ground me. It was a bit scary calling, but I soon got over that. I told her all my news and everything was back to normal. The sun’s shining today. It’s beautiful. I’m thinking of staying overnight again.. What I remember from the drive to Cohuna was the long, straight, flat plains and roads. And the mirages.